Coffee & Whiskey

Not at the same time.  Don’t worry.  I know what the actual combination of those two things has the potential to create in my life:
Havoc.  Chaos.  Mayhem.

Wait.  I LIKE mayhem.  I’m actually GOOD at mayhem!  Maybe I need to rethink this….

No.  I definitely do NOT need to rethink this one.  I will not be mixing my breakfast with my alcohol.
Not at this point in my life, at least.
Give me a year, yet.

(Current music:  “Something For the Pain” by Redlight King)

I simply know that that’s where I am in life.
Coffee and whiskey.
A lot of both most days.

Do I have a “problem”?  …maybe.  But it ain’t like you think.  Trust me.
I mean, I strictly identify with an awful lot of Whitey Morgan’s music right now…but I’m actually okay with that, so…

Nah.  It’s simply been a rough day, people-interaction-wise.  I mean, what day isn’t, really.  But today I may have asked the guy in front of me at Meijer who tied his shoes for him because it wasn’t obvious that it WASN’T him that tied them.  That was far too overly complicated for him…
What.  It was a rough day for me, contemplating others’ idiocy…

Any who.  I sit here, at my former WDHQ, working on a plan out for the next 6 weeks…
…realizing I need a new date book for 2018 (expense)…
…realizing how far I’ve strayed from where I was 3 years ago simply because I’ve clarified the milestones I intend on hitting with ferocity during this journey…
…seeing how some of my idols have advanced themselves while working for themselves in the past 3 years….

I’ve had to come to a number of slightly painful realizations.

The biggest is that I’ve not been working for MYSELF for the past 3 years at all….but for other people.
I mean, I file my own taxes and am responsible for my own health care insurance, etc…
I mean that I’ve been working to better other people at my expense.  The expense of time, money, expertise, and stress.

And I need to stop that.  Seriously.  Right. Now.

It’s not as easy as that sounds, either.

When you can be your OWN motivation?  That’s a dangerous new level of holy-shit-ness.  And freedom from society.

Freedom, by the way, is a little scary.  Okay fuck it.  It’s WAY scary.  WAAAAAAAY scary.  Like…

ONLY I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MYSELF AND MY FAILURE OR MY SUCCESS.

I mean, that’s truth anyway.
It’s just scary to have that running through my head…

…I need more coffee

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