Redefined

Let me go on record, first of all, by stating that it’s colder than hell out there.  And it’s not going to get warmer for about a week.  In fact?  It’s going to get colder.

It’s not been a thrilling 5 months in my life.  It just hasn’t.  Every attempt at being a responsible adult that I’ve made has seemingly failed.  Seriously.  I can’t even begin to tell you how pissed off I am right now.  Mostly at the US Postal Service.  But in general, as well.  Ugh.

So now?  I have to figure out how to solve a bunch of problems in like an hour…
…which isn’t going to happen.  Fun fun fun.  I’m not excited about life right this second.

PLUS?  I have a full schedule AND an upcoming unpleasant event.  I don’t exactly know how to handle all of this.  I want to scream.  Loudly.  In the middle of the street.  Possibly naked.  Why naked?  I don’t know.  Sounds appropriate.

I’m 36 years old.  I should have my life somewhat together.  Right?  I thought so.  I guess not, though.

So today I sit, trying to figure out how to make all of this shit happen without going totally crazy.

Let’s start, however, with 3 things that I have decided will happen in the next 3 months:
1- I WILL get my classes and my capstone DONE to the best of my ability.  Online school is something that I can easily say “it can wait” to.  I’ve done it before.  NOT this time.  I have too much I want to learn to be pushing it off until things in life are opportune.
2- I WILL get a shoot in.  I’m not exactly excited at this, as I have a lot of work to do on myself before I’m shoot ready.  But?  By March 1st I will be in front of a camera, getting my first shots of 2017 done.
3- I WILL be well on my way to my goal weight and size and measurements.  Because I’m tired of being told “if only” at calls and auditions.  And I want to begin doing auditions again…and I want to succeed in making “the cut” this year at least once!  Plus I have a calendar and prints to have ready by the end of October…

I’m already calmer (it’s taken me over an hour to type 400 words.  I’ve been texting with my Bestest and on the phone with my Momma while I’ve been doing it).  I haven’t really solved anything…but give me the rest of the day and I totally will.

I may not have life together.  I may suck at being an adult most days.  But I’ve got this.

Realign.  Resolved.  Redefined.
Not a “new” me.  Just better than I was yesterday.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Dana says:

    I had to come stalk you on your blog…wth woman? I miss you. You got this, whatever *it* is, by the time you are done with it, it’ll be begging for mercy.

    Like

    1. You found me. LOL! Thanx 🙂 {{{HUGS}}}

      Like

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