Here I Go Again…

You know, if I’d quit stopping I could probably quit restarting.  I know this.  I even UNDERSTAND this.  Yet?  I’m a stopper in the last 2 years…

So here I am, back at it again.

Back at what?  Healthy.  Getting healthy.  Getting fit.

And I’m dreading it.
People do not understand what effects PCOS has on my metabolism and weight.  I’ve lived with it since I was a teenager.  I totally understand that this is one hell of an uphill battle every week.

But right now?  It’s also an uphill battle daily.

In the last 2 years, I’ve regained about 20 pounds.  I’m not happy with that, of course.  And in the last 2 months, it’s started to really show.  I’d been okay until about 2 months ago.  Not really, but kinda.

I have a lot of reasons as to get my ass back into gear…here are a few:
1) I’ve committed to shooting several times in 2017 and ultimately doing a calendar.
2) My Facebook memories (from 2 years ago) just showed me my progress picture.  You know the one: where you stand in the jeans in the size you started at?  That one.  I want to keep going.
3) The dress I ordered from Rebel Circus shipped this morning…
4) The dress I ordered from Sinister Vision shipped this morning…
5) I want to.
6) I stopped in at Complete Nutrition, Green Bay to see Summer and had a body analysis done.  While it’s not too bad, it’s not hot either.  (I’m also happy to report that my original goal weight -that I set myself.  NOT the range on the BMI charts.  I always said I’d never get to that weight!!!- is accurate.  According to the analysis, my goal weight was DEAD ON where I should be (I almost cried).

I have a lot of work ahead of me.  I know this.  It won’t happen over night.  I have to set some activity goals, too.  I know that when I have things that I’m looking forward to participating in, I do better at staying on track with both training and fueling.

I’m scared and excited and slightly overwhelmed about what the next 3 months hold on this journey for me (Will I be 100% where I want to be in 3 months?  No.  But I will have reestablished a routine by that point.  That’s step number one).  It’s going to seem obsessive at times.  I know that.  I really dislike being told that I’m obsessed with my fueling or my training.  I’m not.  I know this.  Yet?  If I want it to be important so that I accomplish it for the day, I have to make it important.
But I do have this.  I know that I do.

I have some great inspirations and people to talk to along the way.
I’ve got folks on their own journey as well.  Accountability works.

It’s just tough to restart.
But I refuse to give in to the diet industry.  REFUSE.  Pills, wraps, diets, shakes…yeah, no.  While supplements help some (and I always need vitamin supplements…whether I’m training or not.  I have weird vitamin levels.  Blame it on the chemical imbalances associated with the PCOS.  I do), there’s some serious scammy crap out there.  It makes me really upset to watch people give in to the “fast fix” temptations instead of doing the work to GET HEALTHY and GET FIT.

It’s tough to restart.
But I refuse to give up.

Join the journey…and share your own!
❤ Trix


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